Silhouettes
by Kirjava Deamon
Summary: (Songfic to Silhouettes) Celia wouldn't and didn't want to end up like her parents. Why did she leave them? "Mama always said the sinners had to pay...(complete)


Silhouettes

_By Kirjava Deamon_

**_I own nothing. This is a Celia fic.._**

* * *

_Silhouettes above the cradle hold me down  
they won't let me go the wrong way  
my mother taught me all the fables, told me how  
in the end all the sinners have to pay  
but..._

As she lay in bed in her loft, memories, both happy and fierce, washed over her. She could almost see the silhouettes of her old family, the family she ran away from. She was crying, she had accidentally spilt a box worth of seed, being as klutzy as she was. Marlin had yelled at her, telling her wrong. _Mama always said the sinners had to pay._

Her name was Celia…the farm worker girl, her surname forgotten in the sands of time. She once had a normal family, a happy family. But she didn't want ever go home, no matter how depressing her life was.

_I don't wanna live like my mother  
I don't wanna let fear rule my life  
and I don't wanna live like my father  
I don't wanna give up before I die.._

Her mother believed the shadows were after her. From an early age she had grown up believing not to trust anyone, maybe, she thought, that's were my façade came from. No one could be happy all the time, really. They can only pretend. She sat up, letting her tear fall beyond the dusty wood panels of her room.

_He worked so hard his bones are breaking  
he wore them down but long ago he lost the feeling  
his good intentions leave me shaking, show me how_

_I don't ever want to end up like he did  
and..._

Her father was to hard a worker, never putting family first, only caring about his pitiable job. In the end, he had a break down and lost his job. Only then did Celia see him at home during reasonable hours, him sitting on the broken couch, zombie like eyes fixed on the black-and-white TV while her mother pretending to be cooking.

She sighed. Would she end up like that too?

I_ don't wanna live like my mother  
I don't wanna let fear rule my life  
and I don't wanna live like my father_

_I don't wanna give up before i die_

She suddenly did something very un-Celia-like; she grabbed her hand made striped pillow and threw it at the wall as hard as she could. She didn't care about it anymore; it had been her mother's. The same mother that couldn't even take care of herself, and people wondered why Celia left….because they didn't know the whole story behind the enigma.

_When i have kids  
I won't put any chains on their wrists, I won't  
I'll tell them this  
there's nothing in this world that you can't be if you want it enough_

Because of those people, she never had any friends. She didn't want people to think she was _weird _or _crazy. "Like my parents," _she muttered giving a bitter smile. She could almost see the marks of chain on her wrist; only good thing about her parents was that her mother was scared of sharp or loud things and her father so dead…they could never beat her like she read in her novels. She would read the sappy romance novels to look like a normal empty-headed girl...but she wasn't, she'd read the disorder books, the abuse books, in secret. Unlike Nami, she knew how to shield her emotions more subtlety. Everyone knew Nami was holding back, but they didn't to Celia. They didn't care like her parents _because_ she was so "nice".

Everyone…except Jack. He saw through her façade once, and never did she forget. She…she loved him, but she doubted his affections back. If he was interested in her, why would he not show it? Didn't she always talk to him when he came to the farm only to have him have a blank expression or boredom? Oh, how she cried…

_  
I don't wanna live like my mother  
I don't wanna let fear rule my life  
and I don't wanna live like my father  
I don't wanna give up before I die _

Oh course, Marlin would come up and apologize, a lost look in his eyes. Of course, Jack would still bring her gifts, gifts without heart. Of course, Celia would remain plain old maid, old maid Celia. Nothing would change, it never did. She couldn't stop that. Finally, drying her tears she put on the most fakest smile she could muster, nothing would change. Just as she was going down the steps of the loft, a red headed bullet flew into her.

"N-Nami?" she rasped, her throat tighter. Nami's face was ashy with a horrid expression. Celia and her had never been close, but they shared one thing…they both ran away from miserable family settings. The details? She didn't know…

"Celia…you're parents are here…" Nami whispered. Celia's eyes went large; legally she was still age for her guardian to drag her back, even to hell like her home. She was seventeen, almost eighteen, but a law enforcer wouldn't care about that detail.

_I don't wanna live like my mother  
I don't wanna let fear rule my life  
and I don't wanna live like my father  
I don't wanna give up before I die_

_"Celia! How could you do this?"_ her mother shrieked, her eyes darting from left to right and back again. Her father wasn't' there….she had received note of his death weeks ago...she didn't care. He wouldn't have cared for her and that wasn't her nature to care, it was the façade's nature, the illusion's game.

_"NO!"_ Celia screamed, and fled despite her mother's angry sobbing.

I'm never gonna be like her.

I'm never gonna be like him.

I'm never gonna be like the façade.

**I'll be Celia**.


End file.
